Scientists discover that within the human cell is a particular operating unit that denies that it can be in any way manipulated. This system that is being called ‘eg’ has also shown the unusual trait of being in no way linked to other biological species. The team of scientists say that they are delighted with the results as it shows what most people have instinctively felt all along, that there was something special about humans. The system effectively told scientists that it cannot be interfered with and that the idea of a bovine heart or other animal organs was always something it had had a real problem with for some time; in a tiny encoded message it also said that its sole reason for existing was to ensure humans would fail biologically over time and die.
In a follow up proclamation scientists said that it had now been proven that the ability to understand why cells age and the ability to manipulate cellular processes were, in fact, impossible and there was no reason at all to continue with these endeavours and that ageing and death should now be accepted, as inevitable, forever, and the matter closed!